Saturday, August 30, 2008

Be kind to yourself

When we become stepmums we can get so overwhelmed with all the new demands that, before we are even aware of it, we put ourselves -our own desires, needs and wants - at the end of a long list of "must do's". This is an easy trap to fall into, and one that needs to be avoided at all costs.

If we only "do" for others, forgetting ourselves in the process, it won't be long before we get overwhelmed, cranky, resentful and begin to feel like the proverbial "martyr".

To avoid this trap we need to remember that we can only ever be as kind to others as we are to ourselves. In practical terms this means that we need to ensure that our own needs are met so that we can adequately meet the needs of others - specifically the needs of our stepfamily.

Being kind to ourselves may mean different things to different people. You are kind to yourself when you take time out for the things YOU like to do - this could be spending time reading, walking the dog, luxuriating in a bubble bath - in short, time to do something that pleasures and nurtures you. It also means that you don't beat yourself up for all your "shortcomings". Whenever you find that you don't live up to the expectations you have of yourself, remember that nobody is perfect, let go of any guilt and simply determine to do better next time. The kinder you can be in treating yourself, the kinder you will find yourself being with others.

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