Sunday, November 23, 2008

FROM HOSTILITY TO HOPE:

HOSTILITY Christmas, traditionally a time of family connectedness, can unfortunately also be the very time that reminds our partners, our exes, the children and perhaps even us of Christmases past. These memories may resurface a sense of guilt, grief and loss which can easily turn into hostility. As this increases the likelihood of spoiling a day that should ideally be spent in an atmosphere of peace, happiness and joy, we should guard against this at all costs. If you have the misfortune of having to deal with a hostile ex-partner or hostile step/children, recognize that their hostility is rooted in deep feelings of hurt and find it in your heart to be as gracious as possible on this occasion.

HOPE can be a good antidote for hostility. Hope helps us remember that all things change and even the most deeply-felt emotions will diminish over time. Hope gives us the strength to leave the past behind and focus on the challenges of the present whilst also keeping an eye on the future. It helps us to overlook things that aren't worth fighting or suffering for. It enables us to hold on to our ideals, our visions and plans for a stepfamily life marked by success and joy. It can help us let hostile comments pass, overlook insensitivities and be generous with our affection, even when we find ourselves face-to-face with the resentment of others.

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