Friday, December 12, 2008

FROM ANNOYANCE TO ACCEPTANCE:

ANNOYANCE is that uncomfortable feeling that makes us edgy, short-tempered and causes us to snap at people. In a stepfamily, Christmas with its multitude of complexities and its variety of stresses can be a source of great annoyance. We might feel annoyed with our exes, our partner's exes, the out-laws (ooops, I meant to say in-laws), the stepchildren and even with our current partners. As though that wasn't bad enough, we can even be annoyed with ourselves.

ACCEPTANCE is the perfect antidote for annoyance! How can we make acceptance work for us this Christmas? Well, firstly we need to accept that it may not turn out to be the kind of Christmas we are used to or we would ideally like it to be. Secondly we need to accept that if we haven't been getting along with our partner's ex, with our step-kids or with the in-laws, we are not likely to change that during the Christmas period. We must accept that Christmas will bring a variety of stresses that we need to handle even if that's the last thing in the world we feel like doing. We have to accept that our partners will probably go along with whatever they deem right and important for their children at this time of year and this may leave us feeling unsupported and left out. We need to accept that, whilst we might feel like abandoned children on the inside, we need to act like the adults we are, on the outside. Last, but not least, its important to accept that Christmas Day isn't a good time to discuss issues of conflict. Don't worry, they'll still be here after the Christmas period is over. So, just put them off until then!!!

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