Wednesday, December 10, 2008

FROM MISERY TO happy MEMORIES:

MISERY is a state that many stepparents find themselves in at this time of year. Some may be miserable because of circumstances that are beyond their control. For instance, they may be unable to spend time with their children…or be unable to afford the kind of presents they would ideally like to give...or they are locked in battle with their ex....or they are reminded of happy or perhaps unhappy times of the past etc...

MEMORIES. One of the most important tasks we have as stepparents is to create memories with our new family members. Good memories can be the glue that holds people together. Christmas is a good opportunity for creating new and happy memories. When planning how to go about creating new memories it is important to remember that this does not require erasing old ones. Stepchildren need to know we respect whatever their old memories are and that they have every right to treasure them, just as we have a right to treasure ours. Making new memories can be great fun!!! A few ideas are as follows:

* You could combine some of your cherished traditions with those that are meaningful to your stepchildren.
* You could create a brand-new tradition that, in time, will be your new family's trade-mark.
* You could do unexpected things like spend Christmas at the beach, go skiing (whether in water or in snow...depending on which part of the world you live in, you could have invite all the people you know who might not have their families close by, or who may not have family at all.

You'll be surprised at how much fun you'll have if you put on your thinking cap, give yourself permission to step outside the box and create something brand-new!

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