Friday, November 13, 2009

Call to all stepmums - BE KIND TO YOURSELVES

When we first start out on our stepmum journey we can get so overwhelmed with all the new demands that we can place ourselves - our own desires, needs and wants - right at the bottom of our long "must do" list.

This is an easy trap to fall into, and one that needs to be avoided at all costs.

If we only '
do' for others whilst forgetting ourselves in the process, it won't be long before we get worn down, cranky, resentful and begin to feel like the proverbial 'martyr'.

To avoid this trap, we need to remember, that we can only ever be as kind to others as we are to ourselves. In practical terms this means that we need to ensure that our own needs are met so that we can adequately meet the needs of others - specifically the needs of our stepfamily.

Being kind to yourself can mean different things to different people. You are kind to yourself when you take time out for the things YOU like to do - this could be reading, walking the dog, luxuriating in a bubble bath - in short, time to do something that pleasures and nurtures you. It also means that you don't beat yourself up for all your 'shortcomings'.

Whenever you find that you don't live up to your expectations, remember that nobody is perfect, let go of guilt and simply determine to do better next time. The kinder you can be to yourself the easier you will find being kind to others.

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