Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Maturity Puts You In Control Of Your Life


People so often feel totally out of control - unable to change their circumstances,  situations, habits, life patterns, misfortunes, addictions etc. To some degree, of course, it is true that we are out of control – no-one has control over the fact that they are born or the reality that they will die. No-one can control what others will or won’t do and this may indeed have influence on their life decisions or impact their quality of life - after all, no-one is an island!!

Maturity and consequential freedom from the anguish of constantly feeling out of control (which is an aguish shared by almost all step-parents) comes from the recognition that it is never the circumstance, but the way you respond to the circumstance that gives you control over your life. Victor Frankl was a most extraordinary human being who spent many years in a concentration camp. Although robbed of his home, his financial security, his status as well-known psychiatrist, his health and the lives of almost all of his family members (experiences that nearly succeeded in destroying him) he discovered that: ‘EVERYTHING CAN BE TAKEN AWAY FROM A MAN BUT ONE THING: THE LAST OF HUMAN FREEDOMS – TO CHOOSE ONE’S ATTITUDE IN ANY GIVEN SET OF CIRCUMSTANCE, TO CHOOSE ONE’S OWN WAY’.

For you, the step-parent, this means:

*You can allow yourself to hate every minute of your experience, or you can choose to discover, enjoy and celebrate its positives.

*You can decide to’ throw in the towel’ when the going gets tough, or you can choose to become tough and determine to keep going.

* You can choose to hate your own or your partner’s ‘ex’ if he/she makes your life a misery, or you can choose not to be threatened by him or her and to respond to them with mercy and grace.

*You can choose to respond to your stepchildren’s disrespectful and hurtful behaviour in kind, or you can choose to show them a different way of being.

*You can choose to waste many precious years of your life (which you’ll never be able to recapture) by being angry with fate, circumstances or people, or you can choose to open yourself to changing, learning and becoming the best YOU that you can BE.

Whilst I know from my own experience and the experiences of each client I have the pleasure and honour to accompany on part of their life’s journey, maturity isn’t so easy to come by, I trust that this post, and in fact each  of my posts serves to help you towards living your life more consciously, finding more fulfillment, peace, passion, gratitude and joy.



Life is a gift – accept it!
Life is an adventure – dare it!
Life is a mystery – unfold it!
Life is a game – play it!
Life is a puzzle – solve it!
Life is a struggle – face it!
Life is beauty – praise it!
Life is sorrowful – experience it!
Life is opportunity – take it!
Life is a goal – achieve it!
Life is a song – sing it!
Life is a mission – fulfill it!

(Author David McNally)

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