Sunday, February 26, 2012

How To Support Your Partner In Her Stepmother Role - Part 1

I wrote the following article many a moon ago. As it is still just as valid today as it was at that time, however, I've decided to give it another run and hope that it will assist you in gaining a better understanding of what you might realistically expect from you partner in how to support you as you struggle to come to grips with your stepmothering role.

Over the last few months I’ve received numerous phone calls and emails from step-parents who are struggling with confusion, disappointment, disillusionment and distress because they feel that whilst they are trying their very best to be the greatest, most understanding partner and step-parent they can possibly be, their partner neither appreciates their efforts, nor supports them in their difficult task.

Every time I’m asked how on earth I managed to survive my step-parenting experience – an experience that held a great many challenges, such as one of my stepchildren suffering from severe ADHD, the disappearance of the children’s biological mother, my husband’s busyness whilst climbing the corporate ladder and much more (as those of you who’ve read my book would be aware) - all I can say in response is: I survived because of my husband’s unwavering support. Without his total commitment to stand beside me, back me up even when I messed up, to honour me as the most important person in his life (which did not mean that he neglected his children) to respect, nurture and love me every painful step of the way, I am sure that I would have packed my suitcases within weeks of our wedding.

Most of us come into the step-experience with a great deal of insecurity. Whether we partner with the father of one or a number of children, whether these children live with us or merely visit on weekends and/or at holiday times, we are the ‘INTRUDERS’ into an established relationship and we are well aware of it.

Isn’t it true that at first you step very lightly around the children your partner seems to cherish with all his heart? You most likely do your very best to reach out to them, connect with them and strive to being liked and accepted by them. After all, they do have a ‘say’ in the matter of whether or not you become what you desperately want to be at this point - their father’s mate. Once the proverbial knot has been tied, however, it is not at all unusual to lose some of this initial fervour. Worn down by the everyday cares and concerns of stepfamily living, by the partner’s ex’s thinly veiled (or openly displayed) hostility, by the numerous inconveniences, annoyances, financial strains and other issues that arise as a result of partnering with an already ‘encumbered’ mate, you might have become quite disenchanted with the whole stepparenting "kit and caboodle". By now the initial insecurity may have turned into frustration, resentment and a sense of helplessness and the question of how you can best cope with this will be uppermost on your mind.

You read everything you can find on the subject, learn that there are many things you can and should do to improve your chances of succeeding with your stepfamily. Committed to the cause you try….and sometimes try and try and try again ... feeling worse and worse if things don’t improve, feeling as though no matter what, you just can’t get it right. If you have a partner who at this point wraps his/her loving arms around you saying: “Sweetheart, you are fabulous! You are trying soooooo hard and I am really grateful that you show such patience with my kids - what can I do to make it easier on you?” your frustration and fear just seems to melt away. Your hopes are restored and you are happy – right? If, however, you have a partner who sneers: “I don’t know what’s wrong with you? Why can’t you get things right with my kids? If I’d known what sort of stepmother you’d turn out to be, I’d never have married you in the first place” then all you’d want to do is crawl into a hole, hide under a blanket or better still, run away.

The saying that holds true for all couple’s relationships, ‘it takes two to tango’ is just as true in stepfamilies. Yes, as step-parents we do have to learn many things…but so do our partners. Without their full support step-parenting can be the hardest, most frustrating, most thankless parenting task one could ever find. So, this article, which is divided into a number of parts, is directed at your partner. Perhaps you can read it together, discuss the topics raised, share your thoughts and feelings and work out some strategies that ‘fit’ YOU.

In order to find a definition of the word SUPPORT I consulted the Concise Oxford Dictionary which states the following:

***Carry (part of) weight*hold up*keep from falling or sinking*enable to last out*keep from failing*give strength to*encourage*endure*tolerate*supply with the necessary*provide for*lend assistance or countenance to*back up*further*take secondary part to*speak in favour of*assist by one’s presence…..***

Now let’s focus on some of these words and see how they apply to the step-experience.

**CARRY (PART OF) THE WEIGHT**

As you are a biological parent who has experienced the loss of a partner either to death or separation and divorce you most certainly are no stranger to carrying a heavy burden. When you find another partner, your hope is that you not only find another chance at love, contentment and harmony, but also that this person is someone with whom you can share the burden you’ve been carrying on your own. This is a natural desire which is totally appropriate unless, in your relief, you now lay the whole burden squarely on your partner’s shoulders.

Relationship means SHARING THE BURDEN. You need to share your partner's and he/she needs to share yours.

In order to succeed at burden sharing you can ensure that your partner isn’t overburdened. To do this it will be helpful to:

Ask your partner whether they feel overburdened.

* If they say ‘yes’, find out why they feel this way and put your mind on devising suitable ways to relieve them of the overload.
* Take responsibility for your child/ren and ensure that they behave in a respectful manner towards your partner.
* Be there for your partner PHYSICALLY: don’t spend more time than absolutely essential at work.
* Be there for your partner RELATIONALLY:  spend as much quality time together as possible with your partner. This is essential to building a strong, satisfying relationship.
* Be there for your partner EMOTIONALLY:  listen and validate his/her needs (even if they are not the same as yours) and seek to meet as many of them as possible.

**HOLD (your partner) UP AND KEEP (them) FROM FAILING**

Sometimes your partner needs to be ‘held up’. He or she needs your supporting hand underneath them when they are about to stumble or are ready to crumble. If that’s already happened, your partner needs you even more to help him/her stand upright again so that they will not sink: into guilt….into fear….into helplessness…into feeling like a failure…into depression. They need you to hold them right by your side where they belong.

Step-parents who lack acknowledgment and affirmation can easily feel as though they are failing. They may feel that they are failing you, your children, even themselves. A partner who feels like a failure will rapidly lose his/her confidence and belief in themselves. Naturally such a partner is not a happy and contented one.

You can assist your partner’s success by:

* Letting them know how important they are to you.
* Acknowledging the difficulty of their position and role.
* Assuring them that growing into the role of step-parent takes time and that you are not impatient.
* Comforting them if your children’s response to them isn’t all they had hoped it would be.
* Listening to them when they share their feelings about the situation, the children and all their other concerns.

**ENABLE (your) TO LAST OUT**

If you’ve been in the step-situation for a while you’ve likely become aware that your partner may feel, at times, as though he or she just won’t last the distance. Whilst this may be frightening to you (after all you don’t want to lose yet another partner) it is a very normal feeling for them to have. Often they are plagued by feelings that you may not readily comprehend but which you should be able to recognise. Some of these could be:

* Feelings of jealousy – if you rave about your “darling” kids at every opportunity.
* Feelings of displacement - especially if your children only visit on weekends and you spend ALL your time with them.
* Feelings of resentment – if your mate feels like the chief cook and bottle washer whilst you are having a ball with your children.
* Feelings of anger - if your kids don’t show him/her the respect they deserve and you don’t correct them.
* Feelings of frustrated helplessness – if you take sides with your children against your partner.
* Feelings of hopelessness – if your mate feels as though you will never have the same strength of love for them as you have for your child/ren.

If you want your mate to last the distance, it is imperative that you become sensitive to his/her feelings and learn how to diffuse them. Some of these feelings can be diffused by communication. So, when your partner talks about his/her resentment towards your children, rather than leaping to defend your ‘poor little darlings’, it is much more helpful if you simply let them talk about their feelings. Once brought to the surface, being heard and not disputed, feelings tend to rapidly lose in intensity and you may well find that the next weekend will be so much happier now that your partner feels understood. If their resentment is as a result of the child/ren‘s rotten behaviour or for some other tangible reason, it helps to lay down the law to your children. Your mate deserves respect both from you and from your children.

Please join us again next week for the continuation of this article. 

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

such great advice! Step parenting is the hardest, most ambiguious and most under-rated job in the world!

Anonymous said...

I am that partner who partner show no support whatsoever, I feel so helpless. Yes it is true step parenting is a service so much under rated especially when your partner is selfish.

Sonja said...

I can so imagine that you feel completely helpless if you are in a stepfamily situation and don’t have the support of your partner. The trouble with feeling helpless, though, is that that it leaves you feeling as if you have no choice or power over you own life. Having done thirtysomething years of stepmothering and quite a few more years of life let me assure you that YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE AND YOU DO HAVE POWER. I very much felt like you in the first so many years as a stepmum. I felt cornered, unhappy and totally trapped. I went into a severely depressed state before I realized that I do have a choice. This realization finally gave me the power I needed to facilitate the changes that had to occur for me so that I could continue the step-journey.

Your issues may well be very different to mine but the bottom line remains the same: Unless you let your partner know IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS what is acceptable to you and what isn’t, he will not take any notice of your pain. More often than not our lovely partners (the bio parents who left the previous marital home) simply do NOT want to rock the boat. It’s too uncomfortable, too challenging, too difficult etc. etc. and if you accept this all you’ll get is whatever he is willing to give. If you want more you’ll need to ask for more!

I hope you will so that you can enjoy the rest of your journey!
All the best,
Sonja ☺

Anonymous said...

hey Sonya

I have 3 teenage stepkids,and like their father, are incrediably sweet, caring and beautiful individuals, and i love them dearly and they me- yet i still feel overwhelmed by the stepmothering experience. Each time that I bring issues up to my partner, he automatically has a defensive reaction and then i get emotional and nothing gets resolved.

My partner and I both work full time and have saved hard for the last 2 years to take the kids on a family holiday overseas- we are leaving in a week and i dont want to go at all. Because we both work long hours, with my partner running his own business, we have had to make a lot of sacrifices to make this trip happen.For last few months,I have been telling my partner that I am emotionally exhausted and on the trip will have a low tolerance threshold for any teenage moodiness/complaints and that he needs to have a word with his oldest daughter, who can sometimes be prone to being a sterotype of moody teenage girl. My partner responded as he always does as in "we are the adults- they are children, you need to watch your behavior and reactions and not cause tension in the family" I found this incrediably hurtful- a complete shut down of my feelings and opinion "put-up-and-shut=up" statement. Why would i organise,plan and spend thousands of dollars on a holiday, just so i can ruin everybodys trip? I was simply trying to communicate to my partner my concerns and fears but it quickly escalated into fight and now I want to withdraw from holiday completely so as i dont ruin it for everybody.

My partner can be so loving and supportive in all areas, aside from his kids when he goes into Poppa bear mode at any negetive comment regarding his children. He works very long hours, pays child support and then some. I pay for a fair share of the kids expenses and are happy to do so, raising kids is expensive regardless if its a blended family or not, and I want these kids to have the best start posible in life. I dont resent spending my money on them, but i do resent the idea that I have to smile and just except certain situations are "just the way it is"

I knew at the start of the relationship what i was signing up for, I just didnt think it would be this hard. I feel like i shouldnt even be complaining because I have 3 beautiful stepkids who have been a dream compared to other blended family stories I read about- but I still find being step mother a lonely path. How can i make my partner understand how he is making me feel when he just trying to do the right thing by everybody in this situation?

Sonja said...

Hi anonymous,

Firstly, let me confirm that you are very lucky indeed to have such sweet, caring and beautiful stepchildren and that they are equally as lucky to have such a sweet, caring and beautiful stepmother. What a great recipe for success!!

You also seem to have a great and supportive partner who however, like most bio dads in step situations, is overly protective of his offspring. Whilst this is truly annoying and really very hurtful, it might help to understand that overprotectiveness often comes from fear. Even though everything seems to be running fairly smoothly in your step-household, step foundations can feel very fragile. You partner’s fear may well be that if something upsets one of his children the whole house might come tumbling down. Fear, of course, usually has a blinding effect, which could be why he doesn’t seem to see how hurtful his most recent insensitive statement has been to you.

My suggestion to you would be to, for the moment, ignore his comment, putting it down to him simply fearing that the holiday for which both of you have worked very hard and for which you’ve been planning very carefully, could be tarnished in some way. One day, however, during your holiday and once you both are in a much more relaxed state, sit him down and tell him in an unemotional and matter-of-fact (!!!) way just how much it hurts you when he goes into overprotection mode. Reassure him that you truly love his children but also need his understanding when YOU feel a bit fragile, insecure or overwhelmed and that you don’t need him to leap into HAVING-TO-FIX-EVERYTHING mode, just to show you some EMPATHY. My guess is that if you manage to do this in an unemotional way he will not feel threatened and therefore actually HEAR what you have to say. The less threatened he’ll feel the more able he will be to let go of his fears. Just be aware that even if he hears and understand what you are saying, it won’t be a quick fix but will be a more of an ongoing journey.

I often explain to people that fear and love cannot exist in the same space. The moment we function out of fear (no matter how realistic we perceive that which we fear to be) we no longer function from love. And when that happens it rarely serves anyone well because we are far less likely to achieve the outcome we’d been working, hoping and praying for. Once this is clearly understood it helps us stop trying to please all people all the time. Saying “no” to a child – or making one’s boundaries clear in whatever area seems necessary – does NOT hurt the child. Instead it sends a clear and important message that will stand the child in very good stead in later life.

I hope that this will help make a difference. If not with your partner, then at least in that it confirms to you that your request of being ‘heard and understood’ is not unreasonable….and to also have it confirmed that YES, stepmothering, even in the best of families, is really hard. Good on you for having such a positive outlook and I hope you’ll have an awesome holiday.

Best wishes,
Sonja ☺

Anonymous said...

Hi Sonja. I am at breaking point. I have a lovely partner and a lovely step son, but still feel like I cannot cope. I thought it would be easy to parent a child whether it be yours or not, however the only thing that I have gotten out of it is a sense of failure. I have been in a relationship with the father for about 20 months now and I love him dearly, but I cannot stand another minute of my life being dictated by his 11 year old child. I am now 32 years old and for a much of our relationship I undertook all the child's parenting as his natural mother is a halfwit with no standards. We have the child one week on and one week off and I find that everything I teach him, from hygiene to manners gets lost in the week he is with his mother. It has now put a massive strain on our relationship, as on the week we have my partner's son, I escape from the house every chance I get and refuse to be part of the parenting anymore. I did not imagine myself to be this person, nor for the situation to be as difficult as it has been. My partner is now more involved in his parenting role, but I feel a sense of resentment and anxiety. Help!

Sonja said...

Hi Anonymous, I wish there were an easy answer to your dilemma. If I understand it correctly you are generally happy in your relationship and you even think of your stepson as a lovely boy. You feel 'beaten', however, by what seems to you a futile attempt at teaching him basic life skills because all your efforts just get forgotten/sabotaged during the time he spends in his other home. I can imagine how very frustrating this must be for you and how helpless both you and your partner must feel given that you simply want the best for the child. This is a difficult dilemma: You have no power over what goes on in the boy’s other home; your hard work is sabotaged, which is neither the boy’s nor his father’s fault; your life most likely feels like ‘Groundhog Day’.

Because there is very little (if anything) you can do to change the circumstances, it is critical that – if you want to be happy in your relationship – you change your attitude and your expectations. Although there may be no recognizable signs of it just yet, I can assure you that your stepson is learning - he is learning a lot of skills, all of which will stand him in excellent stead in the future when he will remember them. You also need to take the pressure of ‘being successful’ off yourself! You cannot judge YOUR success by what you see today.

Perhaps you can view your input into your stepson’s life like you would consider a building project. Until the foundation is laid you can’t see anything much at all. Only once the walls go up you start seeing a bit of progress. When the winter storms come you might not be able to progress much further but when summer returns you can continue building, brick by brick until you can actually see the structure you have erected. And even then it might still be quite a while until you get the project finished and can admire it in all its glory. Building the life of a child is not all that different, it just takes a lot longer but all the blood, sweat and tears you invest now WILL most definitely bear fruit in its own good time.

So, don’t give up. It’s normal to feel discouraged, angry, frustrated, helpless and powerless in a step-scenario. But if you manage to hang in there you will reap the rewards!!

Good luck,
Sonja

Anonymous said...

Dear Sonja

I am at my wits end with my husband. I do not have a problem with his other children, but I do have a problem with the way things are handled. Specifically he gets them & just drops them off to me while he continues with whatever plans he has. He rarely spends any time with them. Instead they are left in the house with me & my kids ALL THE TIME. In addition there's on set arrangements so he just gets them whenever & they leave whenever...often staying WEEKS at a time. I've tried explaining that I need a break & some space but of course he got very defensive. Now anytime I try to talk to him about the situation he says I don't like his kids & I don't want them over. HELP!

Anonymous said...

I have been with the man I love for 2 years.He has 2 children 5 and 18 months. We have been living together for about a year and would get the kids every other weekend (if she felt like it) Six months ago the bm lost her children through DFS. we had a 24 hour notice before they moved in full time. I live them kids and are happy to see tem safe. But its so difficult adjusting to the constent demand of parenting. My bf works weekends so I become a single mother and its just so hard to find the patience to make it through the caos. I'm 25, a year ago I had all the freedom in the world! Some one help me: advice, words of wisdom , anything. I love him and I love his children butsometimes I get the urge to run from all the stress and responsibilities.

carol said...

Dear Sonja
I have been a step mom for 10 years. I am still struggling. My husband is very critical if I bring anything up. We have a SS who is 18 and steals and can't be trusted. I can't cope. I need to feel supported and loved. I don't. I provide the insurance for my skids and my husband. I don't care to do this anymore. Please suggest something. thanks

Anonymous said...

Hi,

I really enjoyed your post. I wanted to read part 2 but all I find is 3 and 4..? I'm I overlooking something?

Thanks,
ELiSa

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April Delph said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
April Delph said...

This article has been such an eye opener to me. Thank you so very much. I want so badly for my relationship to work and it has been so stressful and difficult blending our family. You have given me amazing insight to my mistakes and I feel this article is so beneficial to me! I'm sure our relationship is on the up and growing with my eyes opened up to the needs of my partner as the step parent.
Thank you!

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Exhaustedly apathetic said...

This article hits the proverbial nail on the head - depressed, frustrated, resentful step Mum (me,). If the biological father/partner is not supportive it will not work. Forget it, don't waste your time, heart, self-esteem, dignity, identity and sleep. I know, I've just walked away from a partner who treats his daughter like a Demi-God/spouse, and tells me that I am a tyrant because I did up a household chores list when she moved in and dared to ask his 17 year old to please hop off my bed and leave our bedroom as I wanted to go to sleep. If they worship their child and speak disrespectfully to you, it's done. And listening, validating, supporting me? Forget that ridiculously egalitarian and idealistic notion!

Now, just to find where on earth I left my self-esteem? I'm sure it's hidden within me somewhere!

Exhaustedly apathetic


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Hi. Do you have a link for all parts of this article? I found part 3 and part 4. Where is part 2? Thank you

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Tell him Stacey referred you, he'd help

Dave Gray said...

Hello, my name is Dave Gray, I’m on my late forties. I just want to use this medium to say a very big thank you to Jonny for the great thing you did for me as my wife wanted to ruin my life and take all our life savings together. It was a hard way and a bad one to experience at this time in my life. I was able to get my own share of the money by using this great hacker my coworker introduced me to him to hack into her cell phone to enable him receive the transfer code after he hacked into our bank account via Online banking system. His name is Jonny Belter. (hackwithjonny@gmail.com) I know a lot of people are going true this in the world today. If you can see my message do not hesitate to contact him immediately and he also handles all hacking jobs you want. Facebook, Whatsapp, snapchat, viber, instagram DM, email hack, telephone conversation, Imo, voice notes, videos, pictures, criminal records, change of school grades, credit card hack and bank account hack. email him and get a quick response. (hackwithjonny@gmail.com)

Johnson Cooper said...

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Maria said...


!Hello everyone fix your broken relationship or get your Ex-Lover back fast through the help of best spell caster online.
, I'm so excited getting my husband back after he left me and our 3 kids for another woman. After 2 years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their Dad again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Prophet Efe can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (Love spell) for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage has now grow stronger than how it were before,All thanks to Prophet Efe. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Prophet Efe is a real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact: Email him at: efepowerfultemple@gmail.com ,you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2347081602438 ,Maria, Texas, USA.

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Best spell caster Is Akpe Osilama said...

Till the day i die March 14th is the day that i will never let go. This is the day Akpe a trust worthy spell caster gave me my love back after two month my newly wedded husband left me for another girl . My name is Foudy MacMillan and I am married to Tommy MacMillan . My husband is a caring man at least he use to be until he left me for another,though he’s still the most caring man ever . We have been sweet heart since the second year of senior high school . I have never and will never love any body else . We got married on the first of august 2006 and it was beautiful . That day the smile he wore on his face was the bestever. He was so sweet and seeing him happy made my heart skip . We where happily married with great love until he started working with a bewitched girl at Google Inc . He started coming home late say was having a couple of drinks with work mate . He was at least honest with me,cos I knew who the bi**h was i even made friends with her based on the fact that she was my husband friend . I was too blind to see what a dog she was until it was too late thanks to Akpe that help me . Even before i came to know of Akpe, Other fake spellers has taken my money without results. It all started making sense few hours later I cried my heart out thank to my best friend was always there for me , she gave me strength to keep going on . I needed him back but had no idea here as i was zero and dont know what to do as he was moving on with that witch girl but on my own i have the faith that I wasn’t going to let go of this one . I was fully aware of love spell but base on the fact that the ones i came across could not give me results after spending almost $7900. But again i went further to search for a good and best spell caster I found Online and tried Akpe of Osilma temple and his spell and got my heart desire in just 48 hours which was so unreal but was real. I told him my sad story and all he said on the phone was that my heart desire must be meant though I paid for the cost of materials used for the spell . He said he was going to make him a slave in love with me literally speaking . And he also told me that my husband will come back to me attacking me with a lip lock kiss apologizing on the third of April this year thus there was no need for me to look for him . when he finished preparing the spell with the materials I paid for,after two days he sent through DHL a parcel containing the spell and some enchanting word which he told me how to use . He told me right after i use what he gave me my love will run back to me and on the 10th i received the parcel then i used the content to finish the last stage myself . I concluded it 11:30 at night on the 12st of april 2017 and just as said my husband will return, it happened . It brought me so much joy and happiness . when the bi**h found out she tried to play the victim but it was rather too late cos he was now my thanks to Akpe spell . I Know he is honest and truthful he can help you with anything . Seeking the same? contact Akpe Osilama on / chiefpriestakpeosilamaspellcast@yahoo.com

Maria Cooker said...

Email Dr. OCUSODO for a strong love spell to get back your ex back

drocusodospellcaster@yahoo.com My name is Maria Cooker and I live in USA, My life is back again... After 2 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with kids .I felt like my life was about to end and I almost committed suicide, I was emotionally down for a very long time.Thanks to a spell caster called dr. ocusodo, his email address: drocusodospellcaster@gmail.com which I meet online, On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet and I came across a lot of testimonies about this particular spell caster.Some people testified that he brought their Ex boyfriend back, some testified that he restores Womb,Cure Cancer and Herpes Virus and HIV Cure other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. I also come across one particular testimony and it was about a woman called Linda Brown,she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 24hours and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr. ocusodo email address: drocusodospellcaster@gmail.com After reading all these,I decided to give it a try and I contacted him through his via email and explained my problem to him. In just 24 hours, my husband came back to me, and we solved our issues, we are even happier than before Dr. ocusodo is really a gifted man and I will not stop testifying him because he is a wonderful man and so powerful, If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems. contact him on this email: drocusodospellcaster@yahoo.com or add him up on what-app +2349067457724

jerry said...

If you need to hack into any database, delete records, improve credit score,website, email, mobile phone (call, text message, Whatsapp, bbm), social network (fbk, twitter, Instagram) change your grades, find your target password (friends, wife, husband, boss, girl, boy friends) to know if they are cheating or not. ( he saved my relationship Tell him Linda ) Very cheap and Fast
Contact Jerry
Email ; ( jerrydhacker2000@gmail.com )


Anita Kelly said...

THE MIGHTY SPELL CASTER THAT HELPED ME SOLVED MY URGENT CRITICAL RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM.
I dont know how to really thank Dr. Keke Odin for what he did for me. My Name is Anita Kelly from Los Angeles, i was dating this man who i loved very much for over four years now without any problem in our relationship. so at a point he changed so suddenly after returning from the office and started behaving so strangely. it even got to the extent that he told me it was over and i should never call him again. This was a person that loved me with everything that he had. When i told my friend jenny what happened, she introduced me to a great spell caster called DR KEKE ODIN, the chief priest of all spell caster. At first sight this man told me all my problems that it was his secretary that used a charm on him. Dr KEKE ODIN told me not to worry that he will help me solve the problem. The following day, i was in the house in a sober mood when i first received a message from my boyfriend that he was very sorry and before i dropped the phone, he called me again to say he is on his way home and that he was truly sorry for everything. To my greatest surprise, one week later he engaged me and we got married. All Thanks to KEKE ODIN. You can contact him through the following means

Email: greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com

Mobile Number: +1 386-336-9876

website: http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com



THE MIGHTY SPELL CASTER THAT HELPED ME SOLVED MY URGENT CRITICAL RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM.
I dont know how to really thank Dr. Keke Odin for what he did for me. My Name is Anita Kelly from Los Angeles, i was dating this man who i loved very much for over four years now without any problem in our relationship. so at a point he changed so suddenly after returning from the office and started behaving so strangely. it even got to the extent that he told me it was over and i should never call him again. This was a person that loved me with everything that he had. When i told my friend jenny what happened, she introduced me to a great spell caster called DR KEKE ODIN, the chief priest of all spell caster. At first sight this man told me all my problems that it was his secretary that used a charm on him. Dr KEKE ODIN told me not to worry that he will help me solve the problem. The following day, i was in the house in a sober mood when i first received a message from my boyfriend that he was very sorry and before i dropped the phone, he called me again to say he is on his way home and that he was truly sorry for everything. To my greatest surprise, one week later he engaged me and we got married. All Thanks to KEKE ODIN. You can contact him through the following means

Email: greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com

Mobile Number: +1 386-336-9876

website: http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com

Stacey Jones said...


If you need to hire a real hacker to help spy on your partner's cell phone remotely, change your grades or boost your credit score. Contact this helpline 347.857.7580 or the email address expressfoundations@gmail.com

kate Johnson said...

Hello everyone, my name is Kate and I want to recommend a reliable hacker who helped hack my husband's cell phone remotely.

Which gave me full access to all his texts and, and now he has nothing to hide from me. If you require his service, contact ghosthacker2351@gmail.com, tell him Kate referred you he'll help.

Anonymous said...


I want to use this opportunity to appreciate the great spell caster Lord Afar for helping me get back my relationship with my boyfriend when he ended and turned his back on me for quite a long period of time.I have great joy in me as i am writing this testimony about the great man called Lord Afar When my lover left me, and i never taught that i will be able to get him back after all he has put me through, But i am so happy that after the interference of Lord Afar i was able to get my lover back after 24 hours and i can proudly to say, that who ever need help in getting their lover back should contact Lord Afar @ ancientpowerfulspell@outlook.com/website:http://ancientpowerfulspell.webs.com . I thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there needs it. Once again thank you so much sir for your spell.

Hack Ethics said...

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rosemary anderson said...

Have you guys checked out this guy cyberprofessionalhacker@gmail.com dude’s a Great successful hacker,involved with cloning phones, hacked into my ex’s gmail and facbook, what let me knowing
she was infidel and also gave my nephew some really outstanding school scores which he upgraded himself, cool way to have financial freedom as well. Get your bank blank atm cards which could debit money from any a.t.m machine. Make $20,000 and more in a couple days. Bank transfers and wire transfers as well as Paypal jobs, hes that good,had to make him my personal hacker. You could mail him as well if you got issues, he’s as discreet and professional too.He’s kinda picky though so make mention of the reference. OLIVER referred you. Your welcome.......