Monday, June 24, 2013
Managing Step Relationships - Step 4
MANAGING YOUR BIOLOGICAL CHILD/REN IN THE STEPFAMILY:
DON’T forget that your biological children need your love, time and attention as much as your stepchildren do.
DO remember to constantly reassure your biological children of your love and affection.
DON’T allow yourself to become so overwhelmed with the responsibilities of your stepfamily that you have no time left for your own children.
DO make time for them to:
* Take them out for special meals – e.g. dinner for just the two of you.
* Make special play time with them – perhaps whilst the other children are at school.
* Do more of what you used to do before your child/ren became part of the stepfamily - e.g. pat them to sleep, talk special ‘baby talk’ to them, give them lots of hugs and kisses.
DON’T expect maturity beyond their years from your biological children. They may not yet understand concepts of sharing and caring and might simply want all of you for themselves.
DO find ways of explaining and showing them that you have enough love for everyone in the family. Help them understand that the more love you give the more it grows and that love is something that can never be exhausted.
DON’T expect your biological children to automatically see and embrace the benefits of your remarriage.
DO point out to them the good things that have resulted from your remarriage, such as:
* Gaining a loving step-parent.
* Having more opportunities to go to soccer - or other games; swimming with stepbrothers and sisters.
* Gaining step-siblings to play and to talk with.
* Having more family outings.